"I Don't Have Time" Is a Lie — Here's How to Actually Get Unstuck
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You've said it. I've said it. We all say it.
I just don't have time for that right now.
Whether that thing is reading your Bible, moving your body, working on your marriage, or finally doing something about that low-level anxiety that won't go away — there's always a reason it has to wait. The season is too full. The schedule is too packed. Maybe next month.
Here's what I want to say to you today: I think that belief, at its core, is a lie. Not a mean thing to say — just an honest one. And naming it is actually the first step toward getting out of it.
Why "I'm Too Busy" Keeps You Stuck
There's a song called "Dusty Bibles" by Josiah Queen that I cannot get out of my head. The lyrics ask: "We're too busy and can't find the time. But are we busy? Or is it all just a lie?"
That question is the whole thing, isn't it?
Because we are busy. That's real. The schedules fill up, the to-do lists are long, and the people around us have needs. I'm not dismissing any of that. But there is a difference between being busy and not having time. One is a description of your life. The other is a story you're telling yourself about why nothing can change.
"My schedule is either what I have chosen or what I have allowed."
That's a hard truth, but it's also actually the most freeing thing I've found. Because if your schedule is something you've created or allowed, that means you have the authority to change it. You are not a victim to your calendar. You're not a victim to this season. You are more than a conqueror, and God has given you real agency over your time.
If you can't see it that way yet, I want you to just sit with that for a second. Because as long as you believe the story that it's impossible, nothing is going to change.
The Real Reason You're Not Doing That Thing
So if "I'm too busy" is the surface story, what's actually underneath it? In my experience — both personally and in walking alongside women through the Made Whole process — there are usually two things at work: idols and mindsets.
Idols are the things that have taken priority over the things you know you need. And I want to say this gently but honestly: sometimes those things are really good things. Your kids. Your work. Your home. Ministry. None of those are bad. But when they consistently edge out God, your own health, or your marriage — they've become an idol. Something you're putting first that God never asked you to put first.
One I see constantly right now is what I'd call child-centered living — where we're so focused on giving our kids every experience, every activity, every ounce of our attention, that we've completely lost ourselves in the process. The goal is a full childhood for them, but the result is a depleted, disconnected life for us. And here's the honest part: when we never hold a boundary, when we can't say no without guilt, we're not actually teaching our kids what healthy relationships look like. We're teaching them that other people don't have limits. That matters.
Mindsets are the beliefs running quietly in the background that keep you from starting. Things like:
I don't know how to do it the right way.I've tried before and it didn't work.If I start and then stop, what's the point?The timing is never perfect.
That last one is me with exercise, by the way. I could give you a truly embarrassing list of the mental gymnastics I go through trying to figure out the exact right moment to start. The perfect time of day, the perfect routine, the perfect conditions. And then I never start.
The mindsets we have around the thing are often more of a barrier than the actual schedule. We've got to name them.
How to Identify What's Really Going On
Here's a practical exercise that might feel a little uncomfortable: do a time audit.
For one day, write down what you were actually doing every ten minutes. Not what you intended to do. Not what you think you do. What you actually did.
"What would your time audit say is your priority?"
Because here's the thing — we can talk about our priorities all day. But if our time doesn't reflect them, then they're not really priorities. They're aspirations. And there is a meaningful gap between those two things.
If you find that you're spending more time scrolling, checking email, or watching TV than you realized, I want you to not pile shame on yourself for that. Those are often numbing patterns that show up when we're depleted or avoiding something painful. The question isn't how could you do this — it's what feeling are you trying not to feel? That's where the real work is.
Six Steps to Actually Make the Change
Okay, here's the practical part. This is what I walked through myself when I was being honest about what was getting in my way.
Step 1: Call out the lie. Name the specific thing you've been telling yourself you don't have time for. Then say out loud: I have 20 minutes in my day. I am capable of using those 20 minutes for this. You are. Whatever it is — prayer, your Bible, movement, working on your healing — you have 20 minutes. We all spend 20 minutes on things that aren't that important. This is just choosing differently.
Step 2: Identify what's physically getting in the way. What is the actual, tangible thing that keeps nudging this off the schedule? Phone in hand before you've opened your Bible? Staying up late and then sleeping through your morning? Kids' activities stacked so high there's no margin left? Name the thing.
Step 3: Get to the mindset underneath. What belief is driving the behavior? This is where the pain cycle is so useful — because often the mindset isn't really about time management. It's connected to a core pain that keeps showing up. Feeling inadequate. Fear of failure. Feeling out of control. Get specific about what yours is.
Step 4: Counter it with truth. Once you have the mindset, find the truth that contradicts it. If your mindset is I'll start and then fail, the truth is: I can only control today. I've been consistent before. I can start again tomorrow even if today falls apart.
Step 5: Connect the change to your identity. This one is underrated. When you want to make a lasting change, don't just focus on the result — focus on who you want to be. Chasing a number on a scale or a streak in a Bible app is fragile. But I want to be someone who stewards her body and her spirit — that kind of identity-level intention is what actually holds when life gets hard.
Step 6: Take one step today. Not a perfect step. Not a full system overhaul. One step. For me, that looked like committing to 20 minutes of movement — even a walk counts — and getting a habit tracker so I could see the pattern build. What does your one step look like?
A Note on Physical Health (Because This Matters More Than We Think)
I want to say something here that I think the faith community sometimes gets backwards: your physical health is not less important than your spiritual health. God put us in bodies. Taking care of them is part of stewarding what He's given us.
So if the thing you've been putting off is exercise or sleep or actually eating — please don't spiritualize yourself out of that. You don't have to choose between your quiet time and a walk. Both of those things are acts of faithfulness. Find the creative solution that makes room for both.
None of this is easy. I'm in this with you — not as someone who has it all figured out, but as someone who is genuinely working through the same things. The point isn't to be perfect. The point is to stop letting a story about your schedule keep you from the life you actually want.
If you want to go deeper on any of this, the Made Whole Podcast has a whole series on getting unstuck that picks up right where this leaves off. And if you're ready to actually work through the beliefs and pain cycles underneath why change feels so hard, the Unstuck Workshop is a great place to start — or the Made Whole Academy if you want a more guided process with a community around you.
You have more agency here than you think. You always have.
If something in this resonated, you don't have to stop here.
If you're not sure what's actually keeping you stuck, the free quiz is a good place to start. It takes just a few minutes and will point you toward exactly where to begin.
If you're ready to go further, the Unstuck Workshop walks you through the pain cycle, the peace cycle, and the four steps in a few hours — and it will change the way you see yourself.
Either way, you don't have to keep figuring this out alone. Made Whole is here, and your next step is closer than you think.
