Do you have a clear picture of where your life is headed? How you want it to feel? The fullness God is calling you into?
Maybe you do. Maybe you don't, and you have no idea how to get there. Either way, I want you to hear this: you don't have to stay where you are. Whatever you're frustrated about, and whatever is hurting in your body, mind, or spirit, it doesn't have to stay that way.
Let me walk you through what the path looks like.
Why We Can Say There's More
Isaiah 53:5 says Jesus was pierced for our transgressions and crushed for our iniquities, and that by his wounds we are healed.
That word "healed" is where the name Made Whole came from. In Hebrew it's rafa, and most Biblical scholars define it as a process of restoration of body, mind, and spirit to a state of wellbeing, or wholeness.
So this verse isn't only saying sin no longer has power over you, though that is true. It's also saying God is calling you into a process of being restored. God made us whole in the beginning. Brokenness came in. And Jesus came so we could be whole again.
Salvation Happens in a Moment. Restoration is a Walk.
When you give your life to Jesus, that happens in a moment. You're forgiven and saved, and God does all the work.
The second part is the working out of that salvation. Some people call it sanctification. This is where we partner with God to become more like Him, and it asks a lot more of us. It's always done by His power, but it usually looks like messy moments where we're doing the healing work, pulling up old stuff, and forgiving.
Here is how God has walked me through it. I see three parts.
1. Heal the root
This is what most of us picture when we think of therapy. We look back at the pain from our past and try to make sense of it.
I believe God can heal us in a moment. I've experienced it. Anger has been a through line in my life since I was a kid. It was explosive, and it showed up with my parents, my roommates, and my husband. About six or seven years ago, at a freedom conference, I felt God break its hold on me. Before that, anger felt like something that had me. After that, I could feel myself making a choice.
But it didn't mean I never got angry again. It meant the power of it was broken, and then came the walking out. Over the years, it got less intense, less frequent, and shorter. Combining that with Restoration Theory and growing in my walk with God, it has lessened more and more. It still pops up in stressful seasons or when I'm not caring for myself, but it doesn't own me.
Almost all of us have a walking out process, even after God sets us free. If you're free from one thing, you may find yourself reaching for something else, like food or your phone. That's why we have to get to the root.
Think of pulling weeds. If you only pull off the top, the roots keep growing more weeds. To change how you show up and how you feel, you have to dig up the root.
My favorite way to do this is Restoration Theory, a framework developed by Dr. Terry Hargrave and the most practical one I've ever come across. It's where you build your pain cycle, which helps you name your core wounds. Research shows they boil down to about three to five. Once you have language for them, so much of the confusion goes away. And these wounds go all the way back to childhood, but they're also the same ones driving how you show up today.
You'll never be fully done with this. We keep learning about ourselves, we keep remembering things, and we keep getting wounded. But it's good to go back intentionally, ideally with a coach, a therapist, or someone walking with you.
2. Restore your life
This is the present tense. Some of us think it's all about healing the past, and others skip the past and only try to fix today. We need both, because the choices we make daily either move us toward wholeness or away from it.
Restoring your life looks at three relationships: yourself, others, and God.
Yourself. Holistic care for yourself means mind, body, and spirit, every day. That's not a massage once a month (those are lovely). It's moving your body, feeding it well, sleeping, filling your mind with good things, and keeping your relationship with God strong.
Others. Relationships don't just happen. They're built with intentional rhythms, wise boundaries, and repair. When there's conflict, we don't just move past it. We go back, talk about it, and repair it. Sometimes repair means forgiveness and prayerful boundaries rather than staying close, but either way we don't leave the rupture.
God. Learning to hear His voice, spending time with Him, and reading the Bible in a way that's life-giving.
One filter to start using today
Ask yourself: Is this a whole choice?
Say you're about to pick up your phone and scroll. I'm not saying scrolling is bad. But pause and ask what you're feeling and what you might be avoiding. Are you looking for contentment outside of Jesus? Are you trying to feel better about yourself?
If your heart is in a good place and you have healthy limits, great. If not, it may feel good for a moment but lead to more fragmentation. Every decision moves us toward fragmentation or toward wholeness, and it all comes down to the heart.
This is where the four steps come in handy. Say what you feel, say what you would normally do, say the truth, and say what you will do instead.
3. Live whole
Healing doesn't end with you.
We can get so focused on ourselves and the healing we want that it actually starts to amplify our problems, because wherever our eyes are focused, that area gets bigger. For a season, focusing inward matters so we can do the work. But God didn't heal you so you could live a comfortable, cozy life. He did it because He loves you, and He would have done it even if you stopped there. He also invites you to bring wholeness into the world.
That's the full picture of healing. God uses your story and takes every broken piece and turns it into something beautiful. You get to be His hands and feet.
Not a Perfect Life, a Beautiful One
I want to be clear about what we're talking about. A whole life is not an easy one. We live in a broken world, and the Bible says we'll have trouble. There are still hard seasons, relationships that hurt, and bad choices.
But it becomes more and more beautiful, even in the hard. For me, it's no longer the pain and brokenness and depression I used to live in. I wake up excited for my day, and when seasons feel like they might take me out, I go back to the strength I've found in God.
This path isn't linear. You'll move in and out of these three parts for the rest of your life. But it's the path God is inviting you into.
If something in this resonated, you don't have to stop here.
If you're not sure what's actually keeping you stuck, the free quiz is a good place to start. It takes just a few minutes and will point you toward exactly where to begin.
If you're ready to go further, the Unstuck Workshop walks you through the pain cycle, the peace cycle, and the four steps in a few hours — and it will change the way you see yourself.
Either way, you don't have to keep figuring this out alone. Made Whole is here, and your next step is closer than you think.
